The "lemon" called Betrayal

A “lemon” many of us have faced in life is BETRAYAL.

Betrayal: the act of violating trust, backstabbing, disloyalty, two-timing, unfaithfulness, treason.

     We’ve all been betrayed at some time in our life. We’ve all experienced that friend who we hung out with, confided in and enjoyed spending time with, only to find out they betrayed us or “stabbed us in the back”.

     Many have poured their life into a spouse, loved them, had a family with them and had dreams of growing old together, only to find out that the love of their life was unfaithful, two-timing and disloyal.

     Others have trusted a boss, a company, a government, a co-worker, a neighbor etc…the list goes on and on, only to discover one day that these people they trusted didn’t have their best interest in mind, but acted selfishly for personal gain, personal satisfaction and personal pleasures.

     Betrayal happens, it’s not easy to overcome, not easy to forgive, not easy to trust again. But one thing we must remember is that the things in our life that happen TO us do not have to DEFINE us. 

     What has happened to us does not have to define who we are and what we will be in our future. Our past is NOT our future. Sure we can learn from the good, bad and ugly things that have happened, but we need to learn our lessons and then MOVE FORWARD.

     One time, many years ago, as I was whining to the Lord about some friends who had “stabbed me in the back”, I told the Lord that my back was so full of scars from people in my life stabbing me in the back that I just couldn’t take any more, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to trust anyone again, and I heard in my spirit the Lord say, “scars are a sign of what WAS, not what IS”

     I can relate to that because I have a scar that runs down my stomach from an emergency C-Section I had when I was 18…that scar represents what saved my baby’s life!

 That scar is not a sign of what IS, it is a 40-year-old scar. I hardly see it, I hardly know it’s there anymore…it healed, became a part of the skin around it, it blends in pretty good now. Yes, it took time, but it is OLD, it’s not a sign of what IS, but of what WAS. 

     When we are betrayed by those we trust, yes, the wound, the gash, the cut hurts like crazy at first. The wound must be kept clean as to not get infected and cause other problems. There is a healing process.

     I used to work on the “wound team” in the hospital. With most wounds the treatment is the same. 

1.  Keep it clean

2.  Treat it with antibiotic

3.  Keep it covered to protect it

4.  Give it time

The same with an emotional wound of betrayal.

1.  Keep it clean-don’t let your thoughts, your words or your actions allow bitterness or unforgiveness to set in, it will infect the hurt. I know it isn’t easy, but you really have to control your thoughts at these difficult times or they will take you down a path you don’t want to go. Be quick to forgive, that doesn’t mean you have to be friends with that person still, you may never talk to them again, but you must forgive, it takes faith to forgive some people, but with God’s help, you can do it. 

2.  Treat with medicine-God’s word is medicine, whatever medicine you need, God’s Word is it! It is an antibiotic, a pain killer, anti-depressant, anti-anxiety or whatever you need it to be. You need to find scriptures that tell you who you are in Christ and focus on the promises of God. You have a great future ahead of you no matter what someone has done to you.

3.  Keep it covered- Keep it covered in the Blood of Jesus so the “destroyer” can’t get in and destroy your future, and also keep it covered as much as you can by not spreading it around, we want so bad to tell everyone how hurt we are and how bad so & so hurt us. That is like picking at the wound, picking off the scab, and all that does is prolong healing and opens the wound to infection.

4.  Give it time-time is a funny thing, life just keeps going forward, it won’t stop, its tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock. Time may not take away all pain, but it does have a way of lessoning the pain. There will come a day when you realize that it’s just a scar of what was, not what is. 

More to come later, this is a huge subject, but for now, know that I love each and every one of you and:

MAKE it a lemonade kind of day!

Carla